Crystal Hearts
by Inevitable Darkness
Summary: 1x3 pairing. one fragile heart stretches for another, but reclines. the other reaches back in uncertainy. will they meet? or will the walk away...


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*LAUGHS INSANELY* _FINALLY_ THIS IS THE CORRECTED VERSION! InoticedthattherewasaLOTofmistakes…. *cough cough*

Eh hem. First off, disclaimers. I don't own Gundam Wing nor any of the characters (but I wanna!!!!!!! *sniff* *sniff* oh well…mumble mumble) Anyhow, I'm just writing this because I love G.W., and this is my way of showing it. =^-^= you like it, please let me know, give constructive criticism and enjoy it, k? I know that the characters are a little out of line. So you don't need to remind me, okay?

Pairings: 2+4+5 and 1x3 later (1x3, not in this part, but another.)

Rating: Right now, PG-13 for language, BUT will be NC-17 later, that's my only warning.

P.S. i KNOW that the title doesn't fit, but i like it!!!! =^-^=;;; oh yeah! '_blah_' are thoughts ^^;;

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Crystal Hearts

PART ONE

Trowa stood next to the broken doorway watching Heero in silence. He, Heero and Duo were on a mission that was almost completed. As soon as it was accomplished, the three of them could return back to Quatre's mansion, with Duo returning to his two lovers, Quatre and Wufei. Heero had been typing on his black laptop nonstop for about an hour or two, and Trowa just stood there ignoring the pain in his legs from staying still for too long. His emotionless green eyes drifted shut and quickly opened. Heero stopped typing for once and turned around.

"Trowa, why don't you go take a nap or something? You're not doing anything really productive over there." Trowa just kept his gaze on him. He heard Heero, but he seemed to ignore his words, too lost in his own thoughts. He lowered his eyes slightly as he started to shake his head.

"Trowa?" Heero questioned quietly. Trowa looked up as his thoughts fled. He opened his mouth slightly to say something, but Duo came in with buzzing energy.

"Hiya-woah! Tro-ie!" Duo's chestnut braid glided along behind him as he came in the room. Trowa watched it quietly, watching the golden highlights glisten in the sun streams that reached through the dirty window.

"Geez! It looks like you've been punched in the face!"

"Duo." Heero glared at him. Obviously Trowa wasn't in a playing mood, and neither was Heero since the mission was at a crucial point. Besides, he was still a little upset at the prank Duo had pulled on them earlier. Trowa looked at Duo and watched him fidget under his intense gaze.

"Oi, I….ahh…."Duo's voice quieted down as he watched Trowa turn his head and headed out of the small bedroom. When he disappeared down the grimy hall, Duo turned to Heero.

"Well...I think that Tro-ie's a _wittle_ grumpy."

"Hn."

Trowa's shoes shifted with silence across the cemented floor in the kitchen. He grabbed a cracked mug and poured a small amount of old cold tea for himself. His face grimaced slightly at the aftertaste of his first sip. His fingers left prints in the soil on the green paint of the mug. He swished his drink around in the cup as he became lost in his thoughts again. His exhaustion left him barely functional already, and right now, he felt even more less alive than usual. He watched the light brown liquid spin in a small funnel in the mug. Turning his head slightly, he spotted his black duffel bag on the floor.

"Should I?" he asked quietly. He thought of his consequences. Heero had this knack for punishing them if they had annoyed him or someone had done something irrational or whatever, and getting spanked by a furious Heero Huy was not exactly what Trowa called easy punishment. More like inhumane punishment like Duo thought. He always thought that that was a little strange.

'_This time, I'll have my way. Fuck the consequences._' he thought to himself as he started to basically glide along the floor. He threw the sack over his shoulder and looked back. Slight panic clutched at his chest as he quietly opened the door. He ignored it, and softly shut the door behind as he heard Duo chatter away.

'_I wonder if he'll care, or maybe even notice._' with that, he left.

Trowa wandered a little in the woods, once in the while looking up at the cloudy blue sky. His heart felt heavy and once again, he wished that he was able to cry. However, due his own training and past life, his cheeks remand dry. Right now, he almost hated Heero. He remembered hearing Heero, Quatre and Wufei talking in hushed voices over the intercom in a nearby room one night. Duo was sound asleep on the old mattress on the floor and he clung to Trowa's body like a leech. Trowa didn't mind though. He knew how it felt to be alone, and the last thing he wanted to do was desert Duo when all he wanted was someone with him.

"He's not acting normal," he heard Heero's voice echo in his mind, "He-"

"Obviously, Yuy, something's wrong with him." snapped Wufei's strained voice. He remembered the three of them going after each others' throats for a good hour.

"Do you think that he's a…_leak_? But, I don't understand, Heero. There must be something else." He remembered sweet Quatre trying to protect him. They were dear friends, but at the end of the conversation, Quatre started to make him feel like he was something thrown from the gutter. Even if it was done unintentionally.

'_No, I'm not a leak. But, I don't care anymore. I just want one more battle, then I want it to end. I can't stand it anymore. I'm worthless and alone._' he soon began to realize that he was breaking into a slight run as the anger and hurt worked up inside of him. If he was going to be alone and unwanted, then he was going somewhere where they won't bother him, no, where _he_ won't bother _them_.

Not before long, he found another abandoned safe house. Dead leaves were lying around and left a cushioning feeling beneath his feet. He walked up the two rotting wooden steps and jerked the rusted doorknob several times and received a squealing creak. Stepping inside, the smell of old musk flooded through his nostrils, giving a slightly foul smell. Broken glass and beer bottles jutted out dangerously, waiting to pierce skin. Dust floated through the air, creating lazy swirls as they drifted to nowhere. He left out a mute sigh and plugged his own laptop in the closest outlet. Noticing his small amount of luck, the laptop whirled to life. Kicking aside debris, he sat down Indian style and clicked into his flashing email.

His green eyes zipped across the screen as he read. He replied and closed down to think. He sneaked a look out of the broken window and saw the evening sun darkened with a bright red as it sunk down beyond the horizon. His eyes squeezed shut as he thought about how he was always betrayed. No matter what he thought, he knew that he'd have to return back to Quatre's home and share that bed with Heero. They always shared a bed together since they have been on more and more missions together, so they thought that it didn't really matter if they shared at home. At first, before hearing them talk, Trowa enjoyed the idea. He realized that he loved him, but he never really thought that Heero would betray him like that, not after what they have been through together. Heero actually seemed liked he actually cared, in his own silent way. Trowa thought that Heero was a little more lenient with him, and he kind of thought that Heero protected him a little more than the others. Now he thought that all those things were just wishful thinking. He loved the way Heero's eyes actually lit to life when Duo made him laugh, or when the others made him happy which wasn't often enough. He loved the way Heero was, himself. He didn't know what it was exactly that made him fall for him. All he knew was that he was a lost cause no matter what. He didn't have a chance. However, Trowa never saw the way Heero's eyes lit up for him when Trowa came to be with him, or when he entered the room. Trowa thought that he only saw disgust and nothing more. Trowa curled up closely and began a light rocking. He closed his eyes a little tighter and hid his face in his arms, waiting for tomorrow night to come.

"Shit! Heero! I can't find Trowa anywhere! What are we gonna do?"

"Calm down. We've gotten this far without him, we can finish it without him."

"But-" Duo stopped as his jaw slightly dropped. Not too far away, he saw Heavy Arms destroy a part of the base and backed out of the way.

"TRO-IE!" Duo heard a slight growl over the communicator and grimaced inwardly.

"And just where the Hell have you been Barton?" Heero snapped. Trowa looked emotionless at the monitor and remand silent.

"You just wait until this mission is over." Heero promised darkly. His face appeared on both Duo's and Trowa's screen and Duo grimaced outwardly this time.

~*~

The mission was successful and they had ran to the safe house that Trowa had found. Duo was pacing around, hearing crunching sounds of broken glass each time.

"K, Tro. You gotta do a _lot_ to piss me off buddy, but that stunt you pulled...."

"Just what the fuck were you thinking?" Trowa sat on an old chair that he had found and stared past them and onto the floor while he barely listened to them rant on. He had been silent for the past fifteen minutes and was getting quite bored.

"I didn't ruin the mission, and it was completed."

"Oh my god. He fucking speaks." Duo stated dryly. Trowa closed his eyes as they carried on a couple more minutes. Trowa silently slept as they scolded him about his stupidity for his actions and so on.

"I mean, God damn it Tro, wha-hey!" Duo waved his hands franticly in front of Trowa's face and poking the tip of Trowa's nose with his index finger. Heero watched silently, fuming up more by the second. Trowa's head dipped downwards slowly as Duo just stared.

"You're not supposed to fall asleep on me when I'm yelling at you! Hello? Earth to Trowa! Wake up!" Duo cried out in frustration. With a slight stomp, Heero came up to the two and lifted his left hand and arm to the right side of his face and let it fly with a considerable amount of force. The cracking sound of flesh hitting flesh broke into the air. Trowa's eyes snapped open at the contact; he looked into the set of Prussian blue eyes in front of him. The look of surprise settled on his face while hurt showed deep into his eyes for the fraction of a second. He quickly looked to the side as he brought his lightly tanned left hand to the red print on his left cheek.

"Oi, Heero, that was a lil' much."

"Duo?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up. Now." after a small period of silence, Trowa left the room, and Heero quietly continued, "Com'on let's go." Duo quietly grabbed the keys and tossed them to Heero and grabbed both Trowa's and Heero's laptops.

"Tro, it's time to go." Trowa nodded to Duo as he came out from another room. He picked up his light duffle bag and headed to the red blazer where Heero was waiting in the driver's seat. He opened the door behind the passengers seat and settled in. Normally, he sat right next to Heero, but right now he was in no mood to be near him. Heero glanced up into the mirror with a slight frown of guilt. Duo caught the look with his own slight guilty face, but Trowa didn't notice either of them as he stared into nothing again. Once more getting caught up into his thoughts. He was ready to run, to run anywhere but to here. The promise of tears prickled at the corners of his eyes as he began to slouch in his seat. He rested his hot forehead against the cold window and closed his eyes.

Duo looked over his shoulder as he watched the unusual behavior of Trowa. He stared out of the front window as he began to play with the bottom of his braid, rubbing his thumb over the ends of his hair. Turning his head towards Heero he called his name in a small voice. Heero didn't say anything as he kept his gaze on the road.

"What?" he asked softly after a little bit. Duo looked at him slightly then looked at his braid again.

"Nothin'." Duo heard the slight huff Heero gave to his answer.

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know." Heero answered truthfully.

~*~

As soon as Heero pulled up all the way into the long driveway of the mansion, Duo dodged out and into the waiting arms of his lovers. He couldn't help but smile inwardly as they showered kisses over each other's faces, relieving the tension and high strung hope for his safe return. Quatre came up to Heero and gave him a fierce but gentle hug of his own. Heero returned a tender hug with a pat on Quatre's back and turned to Wufei who shared a small smile with him and that was all. He watched Quatre hug Trowa. Trowa's body remand still, like he was a statue. The grim line of his lips remand firm as Quatre began to ask questions of their well-being. Ignoring their confused looks, Trowa walked into the mansion and headed for a shower. Quatre went to go run after him, but Duo's firm grip on his wrist and slight shake of the head stopped him.

Trowa's soiled shoes left a small track on the clean polished wooden floor as he headed for the bathroom next to his bedroom. He opened the door and flipped on the light. Dark red curtains hung over the large bath tub as matching towels draped over the golden colored towel racks. The off white tiles gave a yellow glow into the room. A matching thick red rug laid before the tub. He kicked his shoes off and into a corner nearby and striped of his clothing. Before he headed into the shower, he stared into the mirror. It's clean surface reflected a dead face that began to redden slightly as tears promised to come again. They didn't fall once more, even as he delicately grazed his fingers over the cheek with a bruised handprint darkening his features.

He turned the water on to a temperature to his liking in the shower, and climbed in. He stood in the spray as his wet bangs began to droop down into his face with weight. Closing his eyes, he leaned against the wall, soon sliding down it to the floor, sliding his arms around his legs in a hug. Trowa opened his eyes and looked upward at the shower head then looked at his bare feet, watching the water glide its way down the drain. He frowned slightly as he tightened his grip on himself as his throat tightened and his bottom jaw began to tremble. Still, he fought the tears.

'_Soldiers don't cry. Boys don't cry. I won't cry. I **don't** cry. Never._' his thoughts kept reminding him. Trowa's own mind began to punish him in a way for becoming weak, for feeling for another.

'_You shouldn't feel. Look at what it does to you. You become weak._'

'_I am weak, and alone._' Trowa snorted slightly before speaking out loud, "And you deserve to be alone."

Heero waited outside of the bathroom door while Trowa showered. As soon as the door opened and steamed rolled out, it shut.

"Trowa?" silence was his only reply.

"Quatre set a meal up for you." The door opened suddenly and Trowa walked out in a light blue button-up pajama top and pants. The dark circles under his eyes and bruise looked even darker against his abnormally pale skin. Trowa opened the door to their room and gave it a strong push shut. Heero walked up to the door and lightly placed his one hand on the brass doorknob before removing it. From the bed, Trowa watched the two shadows of Heero's feet disappear. After that, he lifted the top corner of the white quilt on the left side, laid in bed with the comforter resting on top of him and drifted into a light sleep.

~*~

"How is he?" Quatre looked up with questioning eyes. Heero looked at him with a blank face.

"Not good." Quatre sighed and lifted his hands to his face. He let out another heavy sigh as he slid his hands down his face.

"Would you like to eat something, Heero?"

"No." Heero retrieved back up to his bedroom after the short conversation. Quatre looked down the hallway with a depressing face as he watched Heero disappear behind their door. A long rope of braided chestnut hair fell over Quatre's shoulder no too long later. He felt Duo's gentle kisses to his neck and cheek, murmuring softly into his ear. He looked over and saw Wufei's steady gaze.

Heero walked across the room quietly with his head turned to the opposite of Trowa. His fists clenched tightly as he came to their dresser and looked in the mirror, seeing the damaged flesh in the dark. Silver blue streams of moon light painted the darkness and cast soft shadows in the icy darkness, making Trowa look like he was in an icy chamber of death as he slept on, dreaming of things that he only knew.

"Trowa," he voiced quietly. He turned his body around and leaned against the dark oak dresser backwards. He hung his head down slightly, ignoring the way his dark hair felt as it slid naturally down his face.

'_I could just run away too. But, where would I go to? J? But, then Trowa would be all alone, and I don't want to leave him. Not now...._' Heero's head snapped up sharply when a slight displeasured groan escaped Trowa's grim face. He studied the other for a bit, watching Trowa stretch in his sleep; he was completely oblivious to Heero's presence. Slowly, Heero walked over. His boots and socks were long gone, so his skin felt the feathery plush of the carpet as it supported his walk. Taking a slight breath and holding it, Heero kneeled at Trowa's side on the floor. In heavy silence, Heero watched, waiting to see anymore discomfort break out from his fellow pilot. Heero turned his head and his eyes followed the smooth yet masculine shape of Trowa's body. When his eyes came back to Trowa's abdomen, he slowly stretched out his right arm, grazing Trowa's fingers that laid across his stomach. His hand roamed softly across his knuckles and up to his wrist. He took a sharp intake of breath when Trowa stirred slightly. Heero watched him with alert until he became still once more. Relaxing once more, Heero turned his attention onto Trowa's face. His eyes looked down sadly as he reached his right hand up once more. With a phantom touch, he felt Trowa's bruised cheek.

A pair of emerald eyes shot opened and snatched Heero's wrist tightly. Heero looked at him with slight panic as Trowa threw himself into a sitting position. Anger crashed through Trowa's body as he still held Heero's wrist brutally. Through his bangs, he stared intensely. He watched Heero lower his head and eyes, forcing them to remain anywhere else but Trowa's face.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to do that." came Heero's whisper. After that was said, Trowa slowly let Heero's wrist go. Then, he abruptly lied back down flipped to face the other way. Heero steady rose up and went to there dresser. He opened a drawer and took out his own pair of pajamas before he walked to the door once more. With the door slightly opened, he looked back to find Trowa's back still facing him. Regret hit him hard once more as he realized how much pain Trowa was in and he left to take his own shower.

As Heero thoroughly dried his hair with the plush towel, he thought of Trowa's face. Taking a deep breath, he returned to there bedroom and climbed in on the other side of their bed.

"Trowa?"

"…."

"Trowa, it's not going to help if you stay silent." an annoyed sigh remained as his answer. Heero turned his head to look at the silver-blue moon and clear starry night through there window. He saw all the stars he could see. Seeing them as diamonds, instead of dusty rocks that hurled through space, and out of all of them, he saw the moon as the biggest star of them all. It was the only one that showed the many faces it had, the only one who was allowed. In his own way, he thought that the moon felt just as alone as he did. He saw it long for others, to be like others, and not be so dark when it showed it's hidden face. Turning his head back over, he closed his eyes as he rolled over a little bit next to Trowa, stealing the warmth from his body unintentionally.

On the verge of sleep, Heero barely heard Trowa's soft voice ring through his ears. Heero snuggled closer and plopped his forehead against Trowa's shoulder. His dark hair slid down the smooth lining of Trowa's shoulder until it rested in a small soft pile. He cleared his throat a little and was getting to talk to Trowa, but several knocks interrupted his chance. With an aggravated groan, Heero crawled out of bed and opened the door. Before him, Duo waited nervously, fidgeting his fingers and glancing at Heero every now and then.

"Um….hiya….." Heero sighed quietly in response as he watched Duo. Summing up an aggravated voice, he spoke, " What are you doing up? Go to bed." 

Duo's head shot straight up, thinking that he heard things incorrectly.

"Wha? But, what about-"

"Don't worry about it. Now, go on."

"Goodnight, Heero," he caught a quick glimpse of his other quiet friend on the bed. Seeing the emerald eyes stare at him for a bit, he waved his hand and said goodnight to him as well. Heero quietly watched Duo turn and made a run for it to his room, thinking that Heero would change his mind at anytime given now. Heero chuckled softly as he shut the door. Trowa looked away quickly before he could catch Heero's gaze; all of the sudden, his reflection seemed to be more important. It was awkward with the way the mirror seemed to rise up his image, an image that he didn't want to see. He heard the slight sound of Heero's feet shuffle through the carpet, and felt the bed dip as he climbed back in and where he was. He was ready to shove him right off the bed, but he didn't, even if Heero ignored him. But most of all, that position reminded him about his past; when one or two of the people that used him stayed for a little while longer, and how with the way Trowa would curl up against them, hoping that they would bring him warmth, and company. Even if it wasn't forever.

"Why are you dragging it out?" he sighed. That question once again pulled Heero from his sleep that he wanted so badly. This day was taking a toll on him, with the mission and all, and right now, he wanted to go to sleep and pretend that nothing ever happened, especially the parts with Trowa.

"Nani?" he questioned groggily.

"The punishment, Baka." came a harsh answer. He could almost feel the glare that he was receiving in his shoulder blade.

"Do you want it that badly?"

".…I….just thought that it was strange.…that's all" he answered quietly. Heero closed his eyes again, moving his left hand down to Trowa's bottom. He raised it slightly from his wrist and gave a barely touched pat on the other's bottom.

"Whack. There, is that better?" Trowa gave his own glare and ripped the quilt from his body and basically jumped out the bed and went out of the room. Heero looked confused as he watch his silent partner walk out with a bad mood.

Trowa's bare feet clapped lightly against the wooden floor as he walked down the decorated hallway down to the small balcony. The glass door shuddered as he slid it open with force. He crossed the round area of the balcony and grabbed a hold on the silver blue stone rail. Slight tremors ran through his body as he thought. '_Damn him!_'

"Why does he play with me like that?" '_Why does he hate me? What did I do?_' he tightened his hold on the rail until his knuckles bulged out more and became white with the force. His emerald green eyes darkened as he glared at his hands and rail, gritting his teeth until his jaw ached immensely. Taking harsh fast breathes, he closed his eyes as the feeling of tears stung his eyes. The constriction of his lungs felt tighter and gave sharp pains as he started to take deep shallow breathes. With his hold still on the rail, he slid down to where he was in the position of squatting. He hid his red face in the inside bent of his elbow. The force of his shaking increased, and he plopped down on his bottom while his hands still held on for dear life on the abused railing.

"Why?" he gasped out softly. He left out a strangled choke sound as Heero opened, with him being oblivious, the door quietly to talk to him. His Prussian eyes watched the figure before him, slightly curled up and on the verge of crying. The site made him want to cry himself, especially when he saw Trowa begin to shake as hard as an autumn leaf in a strong harsh wind.

Tears gathered up in the corner of Trowa's tightly closed eyes. Slowly, ever so slowly, they finally spilled over, creating small waterfalls down his cheeks. His sobs broke out when he finally let go of the rail, only to grab the sides of his head. Heero reached out his hand to touch him from far away.

"....I'm....crying…." he choked out a little harshly. His throat began to tighten as well, forming a lump that was hard to swallow around.

"Oi! Ya know, for the silent type, you guys sure do make a LOT of noise." Duo said with an eye closed in sleepiness. Next, his eyes opened wide from seeing the state Trowa was in, what Trowa was never in before.

"Trowa!" Duo gasped. He ran past Heero and over to the shaking figure of Trowa. Right away, he held him, and Trowa pushed against his body for comfort that he thought that he would never get. He cried like he did when he was a child as he listened to someone explained to him why his mother and father would never come back. What death meant. What being all alone meant. 

Duo rubbed Trowa's unstill back as he glanced at a helpless Heero. He looked sadly at Trowa and Heero did the same. Slowly himself, Heero came up to the other two and sat on his knees.

"It's alright, I'm here for ya." Duo soothed. Trowa pushed his head under Duo's chin a bit strongly as he curled up more. '_I don't want to be alone….please,_'"don't leave me...." The features on Heero's face softened as he held onto Trowa as well. His thumbs began to stroke Trowa on his arms on their on accord. He leaned his head on Trowa's back saying, "I'll take care of him," softly. Duo lightly nodded as he helped Trowa stand up.

"….no.…"

"Com'on Trowa, let's go inside." Duo said in a hushed voice.

"….no.…" Heero came up once again and gently tugged Trowa's arm.

"Come on, let's go talk." Trowa peeked at Heero and looked down in defeat. Duo ran his hand through Trowa's hair and Heero gently grabbed Trowa's one hand and led him back to the bedroom. Once they were in front of Trowa's and Heero's room, Duo continued to talk, "Tro-ie, I'm gonna let you talk to Heero, okay? If you need anything, you know where I'm at." Trowa's head snapped to Duo's face before he went into the room. He looked at Heero and walked quickly into their room, with Heero following him from behind. 

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Wait until you find out what Duo did….hehe! =^-^=

Ah, and gomen for being so late with the next chapter. To tell ya the truth, I just started it cuz I've been gettin' _swamped _with it lately. *mumble mumble* but, non da less, I started it! Woohoo! Oh yeah, heed my warning everyone! KEEP YOUR COFFEE **AWAY **FROM DUO! I lost the story board but guessy whatty! I FOUND THE FREAKIN' THING! _fiinnnally!_


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